"Cold enough for ya?"

COLD IS A RELATIVE THING.  65 above zero: Arizonians turn on the heat. People in Upstate New York plant gardens. 60 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Upstate New York sunbathe. 50 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down. 40 above zero: Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats. People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt. 35 above zero: New York city landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Upstate New York have the last cookout before it gets cold. 20 above Zero: People in Miami all die. Upstate New Yorkers close the windows. Zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats. 10 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door. 20 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Upstate New York let the dogs sleep indoors. 30 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they can't start the snow-mobile. 40 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Upstate New York start saying...'cold enough fer ya?' 50 below zero: Hell freezes over. Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late